Holy Water Humorist Mugs

The Blessing of the Pasta at Trattoria Del Vaticano

"We only got six days of funding."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Night-time halo

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

The Adventures of God

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'We've re-branded.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

Dog wearing a cone

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Local News in Heaven

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."