Hollywood Starlet Gifts

Entering California

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

The rock caricature

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

Hollywood or bust!

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

Kids with skates waiting for the ice to grow.

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

Lord of the Rings IV.

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Welcome to Hollywood

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."

When stars marry: 'Why did you ask him first? Does he have top billing?'

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

"Hear me out. Batman - again."

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for a full 13 episodes...?

Live the Dream!

'And who are you wearing?'

Peter Lorre caricature

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"I'm sorry. We don't want a ring-tailed lemur. We want a ring-tailed-lemur type."

Marilyn Monroe

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"