Hollywood Hoot Gifts

"Listen, Potatohead, I made you!"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

A Bloody Butcher

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

'Vital mission - movie parody'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

Hollywood or bust!

Welcome to Hollywood

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

Live the Dream!

"FISH ON"

"It's finally happened - Tom Hanks was in every movie this year."

"Hear me out. Batman - again."

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for a full 13 episodes...?

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"I'm sorry. We don't want a ring-tailed lemur. We want a ring-tailed-lemur type."

"Sure, if this was New York, I'd be your editor and you'd be the author - but this is L.A., so I'm your agent and you're the whatever."

Julianne Moore,

Oscar Victory

"Well, Clive, what I REALLY want to do it wait on tables."

"That's enough therapy. From here on out, I think I could do a hell of a lot more for both of us as your agent."

'Good news is that after two weeks buried in this desert, nobody will call us 'Paleface' anymore!'

"Wait a minute... You're not Warren Gurkenman the famous actor, but his stuntman?!"

"Hallelujah, I'm a believer!"

The cinema of the Absurd.