Holiday Snap Collector Pillows

"But this one's an Italian pigeon! 
We don't have them like this back home."

'...and to our children we leave our holiday snaps.'

Tourists and their Pets.

Ball as water-melon.

"I love these old decorations!"

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

"Are you the pickle guy or the baby guy?"

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

'One more thing -- My Dad says that if you bring me one more 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' tape, he'll rip off your beard and set fire to it.'

The First Black Friday

Builders bum

Snake accessories.

Loud Quitting

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

The Magi: Christmas, 1993

'Cards don't send greetings, people send greetings.'

'That's typical as soon as you snap on the light, they disappear.'

Gracie complains that there is no snow, so she and Tia Carmen make snowflakes.

'Classy place. They even left a mint on our pillow.'

Snow baby

'Dang...too fast food!'

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

"I told you not to ask every b****r we met on the cruise to visit us when we got home!"

'Mom, Dad, I prefer gathering.'

"The Crandalls wish us a Merry Christmas, and add that they're now worth over two million."

'A Christmas card from the Hendersons! Did we send them one?' (wife to husband on desert island).

'Been Away?'

'Apparently the thieves were looking for the gold, frankincense and myrrh.'

"Ok, George ... now you've ruined Christmas."

"I really miss letters."

"Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On ... Dunderhead and Blitzen!"

The Sea Angler: And warm sensible clothing is vital for full enjoyment of the sport.