Holiday Laughter Gifts

"This is not what I had in mind when you said you'd take me whale-watching."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Elfie Stick

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Try me/try me/try me...

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

'He's got your nose.'

Clown Skis.

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

Santa's Helpers

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

Christmas on Other Planets.

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

A centipede's Christmas stockings