Holiday Kitchen Maestro Gifts

Remember to put the turkey the right way up!

Jack of all trades

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

Panettone

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Camping-Pong

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

'See you in two weeks!'

"I'd like to toast our guests."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Onion Tears

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

Thru The Eyes Of A Lifeguard.

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

Emeril John Lagassé III caricature

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

Pollsters

"Tis the season to be jolly!"

Making Christmas Pudding.

A pilgrim driving a camper leaving the Mayflower ship.

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

Blowing out the Christmas Pudding.

Meat Poultry Fish. Genetically Modified Christmas Turkeys. Order Now. They inserted kangaroo DNA to make a product for stuffing, and octopus DNA so everybody gets a drumstick!

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

Mr. Pinch and Ruth unconscious of a visitor

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

"Those giblets are gonna have to come out."

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

Kringle: The Decca Years

Gordon Ramsay