Holiday Gatherings T-Shirts

'Have you noticed it, too?'

Herman likes to stay in his comfort zone.

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Never refuse their homemade food.

Fruitcake

"I think it is important for us as a family to have the occasional sit-down meal."

Party Video

'Safe at last! I was terrified Rex would knock over one of their priceless antiques!'

Family lockdown day 30

"The joke? It just says 'Brexit' ..."

"I like coming to Grandma's House Daddy. . . It always smells like chocolate chip cookies!"

"Hi, it's us, Sue and Dave, from the Tenerife in '4. You said we were welcome to come and stay anytime."

Screen Time at the Dining Table

'This is the tenth invitation for dinner since Thanksgiving. Everyone wants to get rid of leftovers.'

"Oh, aye - he's never slow at stepping up to the plate."

"Talk doesn't cook rice...but it does make it more enjoyable!"

Table Discussion

Arabian Cuisine

You've got company.

'Take that off, Fuller. You're scaring the hell out of everyone!'

"We merged to save through volume buying."

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

"You create a diversion and I'll sneak out the back door."

'How do you figure?'

"Look, who's driving this car, you or your mum?"

"And since when does being twenty-five and married and living in Dallas excuse you from a family meeting?"

Paul goes home for the holidays

"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"

"I forget — do we like the Rizzos?"

"We've run out of weather-based excuses for this month - we're going to have to find some moral grounds on which to boycott this party.'"

"This family is way too functional."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'