Holiday Drinks Gifts

"Devil's Brew?"

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Panettone

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"Devi's brew?"

Stuffing the turkey.

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

Peace on Earth

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

'OMG! Is it Christmas already?'

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

Making Christmas Pudding.

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

Because of bad weather and lots of people moving slowly on the path, it took forever to get here! Everybody was picking up a pumpkin on Wednesday. There was a huge crowd and long lines at the pumpkin patch. My brother and I can't be seated together today. We'd argue and disagree about who should run the village council. After this huge meal nobody's gonna want to stick around and clean up this mess! If they're still having this celebration centuries from now, I'm sure they'll have worked i

"Tis the season to be jolly!"

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

"Who wants to help Grandma make her famous gingerbread man cookies? You kids get the flour, eggs, and sugar, and I'll get the protoplasm and epithelial tissue."

Basic Instinct

Adult Table - Kids Table - Kids' Friends Table

The Devil's advocaat.

'Anyone else seeing a pattern here?'

"Well, I'm sorry, but that's what happens when you micromanage!"

'Turkey's okay, but most of the trimmings are vegetables.'

'Mary, you must give me your stuffing recipe.'