Holiday Cheer Avoiders Gifts

Humbug of Old Bachelor

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'I hate all holidays!'

Reindeer

A Sweet Christmas Connection

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

White cat on top of a Christmas tree.

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

North Pole.

"Christmas day or nor, it was under the tree! How could you expect me not to peek?"

'That's about as Christmasy as we can get it.'

Father Christmas deciding whether the Tory Party are naughty or nice.

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

"Ever notice how everyone's nice this time of year? Kids behave. Neighbors, friends, relatives - even workers at the office - smile more. The mailman has a friendly wave, folks seem to go out of their way to be nice..."

Noel Fever

'I fixed it so we got the night off!'

About Santa 2017.

'Sorry I Ate the Cookies Last Year.'

'Your wife didn't do this. I'd recognize your handwriting anywhere.'

'The Christ Child'

'computer says no.....el!'

"What did you think we do after the holidays?"

'Moving Day' for Christmas Presents

"Then I said, let's stay with Santa's sleigh, but nooo ... you wanted to see a Rangers game!"

"Ever had one of those days where you don't feel the least bit jolly?"

'Guys! Check this out - Reindeer Chow in the satellite dish!'

'On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer, and Vixen; On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen...wait, this can't be right.'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

Santa playing golf.

Keep your answers short and in the form of a question.

'I've got to get away from Christmas... I've got to get away...'