Hockey Humorist Pillows

'Trust me, it's the only way if you want your insurance to cover it.'

'Your hands are so smooth. Do you use skin softener?'

Slippery Hockey Game

Ice croquet.

"Use a hockey stick – make it look like a game."

The freezer broke at the hockey rink last night. By the end of the game there was seven feet of water! They must have taken out the first string and put in the subs!

'Squash him.'

'It sure is hot in the arena tonight!'

'Can't we have just one conversation without you getting so defensive'

'Man, that new guy is nothing but a thug!'

'It started as just as skirmish, your majesty, and suddenly escalated into a hockey game!'

'Stop saying that! There is no 'warm and fuzzy' in hockey!'

Teacher to student: 'Ah - your hockey report! Did you cross-check your references?'

"This is a tough hockey league. I'm just the team's webmaster."

"Now kiss and make up."

"Hockey players no longer fight. They feel saying mean things about each other on social media hurts more."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

Punt Cake

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

Gary turns 40.

Alternative fielding positions

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

Sloth 10K.

"Getting the hang of it?"

The Hockey World

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'