History-savvy Sibling Pillows

"I never read Mein Kampf. My dad read it to me. I liked when he did the voices."

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Nobody Upstages Trump!

Under New Management. Actually, Betsy, we were hoping for a flag with a little more style.

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

Where the framers of the Constitution bought their frames.

'Where does this go?'

"Tut's outdone himself this time."

Warhol Exhibit

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

Michelangelo's David is cleaned every two months.

"Surely, as the world's only superpower, we're entitled to a little mischief now and then."

England.

"Did any townspeople think 'The British Are Coming' was fake news?"

Trump Memorial

Snakes Return To Ireland

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

'It wasn't that close...'

Isaac Newton...stumped.

"My phone won't fold but the manufacturer did."

"It's true, Caesar. Rome is declining, but I expect it to pick up in the next quarter."

Caesar slips on ice. Bystander says 'He was warned-beware the ice of March'

'What really stung is when they wanted the Magna Carta notarized!'

Little known fact #244: Cholera was not the #1 cause of death for children on the Oregon Trail

'The guy at the door wants to know if we've all been saved?'

'These new ideas are silly, Father, the boiled tobacco tasted awful and you've spent an age trying to light that potato.'

Campaign 2010.

The Wellington Statue.

"No arms deliveries!" "Arms deliveries!" "No arms deliveries!" "Arms deliveries!"