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'The first commandment is: Thou shalt not shoot the messenger.'

"Those idiots, they're burning their own arrows! Oh - oh, God no."

'He promises us manna and give us commandments - Classic bait-and-switch!'

Achashverosh executes wife. Would you like to take her place? Register now!

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

'Oh no, it's his answer machine again!'

'Yes, all at once!'

'It's a girl.'

'I haven't seen a corpse on the street all week -- the economy must be on the upswing!'

"Oh yes, apparently this one is a copyright symbol."

'Okay, but don't try to operate it until I invent insurance.'

'He's a bookmaker.'

"If you're tired of brontosaurus, go kill something else."

If...Then....

"I had to defend your honor -- he called you a 'hominid.'"

Punk Roman

"Just a minute - I'm uploading."

'It's no big deal - Scotland is just out of compliance again.'

'Oh God, who's put the commandments in the toaster again?'

'Sorry, I really need to take this.'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

'Wow. . . Look at the rock on her finger.'

Atlas at Home

Thank goodness we don't have to hunt and gather anymore.

The True Reason of War. A Little Frontier Incident in Alsace, July 1914.

Admiral Porter's Dummy Frightening the Rebels at Vicksburg

Welcome to another edition of television's thrilling new game show: It's All About Me! Today's contestants are: John from Dallas, and Lena from Denver. I'm your host, Bob Stephenson. And here's out first question: How many casualties were there in the Battle of Gettysburg? Buzz buzz. Oh, it's a close one. Both contestants buzzed in, but John, you were first. What's your answer? My answer is: I once visited Gettysburg. Ohh, close, John. But not quite. Lena? Bob. My answer is do you like me? We ha

"We found you and raised you as one of us, so we were just wondering, at what point did you learn to shave?"

"We're following Carrot Top."

"You're on a what?!"

When laundry ruled the waves.

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere