History Enthusiast Siblings Gifts

'These new ideas are silly, Father, the boiled tobacco tasted awful and you've spent an age trying to light that potato.'

'Are we there yet?'

'One more curse out of you, young man, and it's right down to the principal's office.'

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

Ten Commandments

Nobody Upstages Trump!

Under New Management. Actually, Betsy, we were hoping for a flag with a little more style.

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

In my day, they didn

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

Where the framers of the Constitution bought their frames.

Uncle Mort, you fought in Korea, right? You think that war will start up again? Not if I can help it. It was the morning of July 27, nineteen hundred and fifty-three. I was pinned down on Pork Chop Hill. My bazooka had run out of ammo. All I could find to load into it was a stuffed panda bear. I loaded it and fired that bear into the maw of the enemy. It struck one of them atop the noggin. Moments later, the armistice was signed. Every July 27th, I awaken at dawn and chuck that same panda at the

Quick, follow that star

'Where does this go?'

Mahmoud Abbas

Michelangelo's David is cleaned every two months.

Censorship | Not Censorship

Warhol Exhibit

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

'Fortunately our generation won't have to pay the huge debt. Our grandchildren will.'

"Surely, as the world's only superpower, we're entitled to a little mischief now and then."

"This area has a long and rich history. First, the Indians lived here, then it was a plantation with slaves, then poor people lived here, and now it's a magnificent condo complex."

"One day son, all this will be going with me."

"Did any townspeople think 'The British Are Coming' was fake news?"

Trump Memorial

Isaac Newton...stumped.

Snakes Return To Ireland

Creationists now agree with the scientific theory that the ginosaurs were probably wiped out by the impact of a large asteroid.

"Archaeologists discovered several enormous ancient cities buried under the jungles of Cambodia." "That means the Khmer civilization was the largest empire on earth from the 9th to the 12th centuries." "That changes everything about our conception of the Middle Ages." "What was your conception of the Middle Ages?" "Well... It was... Well, knights, maidens, dragons... Mostly dragons. And elves."

"I never read Mein Kampf. My dad read it to me. I liked when he did the voices."

Caesar slips on ice. Bystander says 'He was warned-beware the ice of March'

"It's my first novel."

'Don't tell me what Aristotle says. He still believes men have more teeth than women.'