History Decoder Prints

Dilma Rousseff

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

CIA report

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Harry S. Truman

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

Frankenstein's Ancestry

The Ukraine, Europe and Fascism.

Paw readings

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

Celebrity Phrenologist.

NHS/Private Eye Care.

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

Authorization for the Use of Farce

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

Information vs. confusion

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

Peace in shackles.

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

'I know what you're thinking.'

Russian Spy Debriefing

Robot Attack in Bath

History Department: 'I used to be a revisionist myself, you know!'

"Ukraine peace talks"

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

Grimm's Fairytales - The Golden Bird