Historical Reenactment Enthusiast Pillows

"I got probation."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Pirate

The International and May Day Terrorism

Cut!

Piracy on a boating lake

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"Hipsters"

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Sundial Time

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

Missing You.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

'I think they're up to something.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Moustached gentleman

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight."

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

Goddess

Blue Dress

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

Thomas Keneally

"But I use all of them!"

"I'd say business was brisk."

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"Young Montague's full of himself."

This castle manager job better be for real.