Historical Property Buffs Pillows

'For added curb appeal, I think you should fill the moat.'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

Thomas Keneally

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Oh no! - Here comes the National Trust again!!"

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

One tends to the sick. The other manages a large estate. Interestingly, a caregiver and a caretaker are not on opposite sides of an interaction.

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'And here you see the heart of this nation's capital. If you roll down your windows, you can smell the BS.'

"Lady Liberty, I choose you...ooo...ooo...oooh!"

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

"'Frankenstein' is Jewish. I'm Irish on my mother's side befcause she was green, and an 'O'Houligan'..."

Alderman shocked at a proposal to pull down Temple Bar

"Just a moment, please. I would like my mother's maiden name included."

"Some of my peonies go back to 1872."

Welsh Lady

"My only hope is that future generations honor this day of independence with a huge one-day sale."

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

Vertical Tower Of Pisa.

They're nice, but they lack the charm of an older home

This is my Dad --- One of the people I evolved from.

"People don't live like that anymore."

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

House Hunters of the Old West

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

'I sold my house and got what I paid for it. But you bought it in 1962.'

'So what do you do?'

William Tell's First and Last Day of Elementary School.

"I'm sorry son, but one day all this will be yours."

Archaeologists discover 'Stonehinge'.