Historical Parody Fan Pillows

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

Sock Puppet in Literature

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Spam in Hell.

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

"Bonk!"

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

Early attempts at standardising currency.

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

"Is there a seamstress present?"

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

Romulus and Remus ( and their brother Derek )

Royalty, Episcopacy, and Law.

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

"When you order your dictator from Temu"

Lawyers On A Plane.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.