Hipster Patient T-Shirts

"It's a very hip disease, so it's good that we caught it early, before everyone's talking about it."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

"And now a correction: Portions of last night's story on diving mules which were read with an air of ironic detachment should actually have been presented with earnest concern."

What your guitar says about you.

Woke Jersey Shore

The Inventor of the Man Bun.

Homing Beatnik

"Mind if we go through the Park? There's this ailing ginkgo tree I want to check on."

"I think you'd be surprised by how simple this avocado toast recipe is."

Artisanal Pottery

Designer Republic of Shoreditch

Gentrification of the Fridge.

Brooklyn.

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"It's a fashion statement!"

"Avocado...t-toast..."

Pop up hell

"I only drink Arts and Crafts beer."

"Do you have anything new. . ?"

"There has got to be a way for Detroit to make a safe, affordable, fuel-efficient vehicle out of hemp."