Hippo Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'Me, I weigh myself in the water: I get a better reading...'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Author does not do tricks."

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'Oh Hi!'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

The americanisation of vulture.

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'The Buck Stops Here.'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

'Ha ha! No kidding! You're pretty much most people's worst enemy.'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"This isn't helping my migraine."

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

Penguin

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

Cat leaves obedience school smiling because he got an 'F' on his report card.