Hippo Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'Me, I weigh myself in the water: I get a better reading...'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

The americanisation of vulture.

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

The only time cats are known to laugh.

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'Oh Hi!'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Author does not do tricks."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'The Buck Stops Here.'

Great moments in art dogs playing poker, cats playing Pictionary,

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

"This isn't helping my migraine."

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Penguin

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

'Ha ha! No kidding! You're pretty much most people's worst enemy.'

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'