Hip Fashionista Gifts

"Frankly. I find the term 'lumbersexual' to be offensive. I prefer the term 'timber dick.'"

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

Mod Kwan Doh

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

"Do you have pants in XL?"

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

Hat Boxes, in the Closet

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

'It appears I have too much cargo for my pants.'

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

'I've developed the space tie and the space bowtie to go with the spacesuit.'

Beehive Hairstyle

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

Urban Life.

"I've had many men in this town darling, but many men have not had me."

'How long have you had that toupee?'

Sunglasses - Perfect for normal sun, white dwarfs, red giants.

'Trainers for actually playing sport in.'

I've been so stressed, I'm getting back into yoga. Good idea! We all need peaceful time to center and renew the soul. Go for it! I would, but � My workout duds are totally last year. We have catalogs for that.

"I don't know...it's just not you."

"How much do you want off the top?"

'No, honey, please - I take it back! Your hair looks great!'

"Yes, I have worked with Donald Trump's hair."

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

'He's having a bad feather day.'

A guardsman is embarrassed when the wind reveals his bearskin hat is doubling as a 'comb over'.

"Do they make my feet look big?"

'I love your bangs.'

"No, I'm not selling lawn gnomes. I'm selling knit hats like the one my husband's modeling in the picture."

"Whew! At last, I can eat!"