Higher Education Hero Gifts

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

'...... in sickness and in health, through the long lean years before tenure or perhaps no tenure, for better of for worse ......'

'When I call your name, step forward to receive your certificate of overqualification.'

Help Wanted: UC President

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Nervous Oral Testing

Coronavirus Impact on Children

'Get up and put your house slippers on! - You'll be late for home school!'

"You need to work on your self-esteem but you're probably too stupid for that as well."

End of Affirmative Action

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

'Good luck with your exams' (mountain climbers).

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

Pandemic-parenting

"I hope that this is just a riot of passage."

"We moved here for the schools."

I'm home-schooling him.

I must not erase major breakthroughs....

People of Courage

"If she's going to be off school for a while, we need to make sure she's not stuck in the house all day."

"So why do you feel that you're a better person for the job than every other candidate who's shown me résumés with the exact same credentials?"

"I may have to go back into the office - we're running low on stationery."

"Don't try to tell me this P.E. class! Get back to your homeschooling!"

"If a teacher makes $40,000 a year, and her mortgage is $2200 a month...."

'Angry parents on lines 1,2,3,4 and 5.'

Professional Parents

Homeschooled Doctor. Mom says: 'After you set your sister's leg one more time we'll take a milk and cookies break...'

'Being home-schooled means I can be a runaway and a dropout at the same time.'

'No, you don't have fever. You have to go to school.'

Relax! The college process need not be stressful! Staying calm actually helps your child cope. Parents' night. Top colleges are brutally competitive. Even state universities are rejecting excellent students. I'm relaxed. Me too!

"Personally, I prefer seeing the graduates dance across the stage."

"I had a dream that a rich guy came to campus and paid off our student loans."

"Why can't you give me a student loan? I'm a student."

Why College Costs So Much 101.