Hierarchy Skeptic Gifts

'You are this week's top person on the team pyramid.'

"Top management told middle management to tell me to tell you to shape up."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

Parking signs read: 'CEO COO CFO SON'

'Who made him boss?!'

All employee suggestions are 'cascaded up' to management.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

The Evolution of the Bonus

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"The boss can see you now."

"Back when I was your age the only way to get a promotion was kissing butt."

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

Zoo Inc. Management Structure

Pecking order.

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

I have decided that all future board meetings will be held before lunch.

'I didn't get the salary increase, but I've been moved one parking space closer to the entrance.'

When Downsizing has Gone Too Far...

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

"Sorry, Pete, but Bill is now my 'go-to' guy. Until further notice, you're my 'anybody-but' guy."

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

Corporate Flow Charts/Ladders

"Guess what, Collins? Not my job to remember what I said yesterday."

"Actually, I worked my way up from 'ideas'."