Hidden Motive Hunter Pillows

You have chosen wisely in buying your girlfriend a new video game unit. You're sure? Computer Villa. It's like a jewel. She'll absolutely cherish this. And it has that most essential quality. If she hates it, you can use it. Then I'll also get her an HD camcorder.

Reading my Critics

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

A push in the right direction: 50c.

"Yes Sir, we have secret storage locations all over the forest, so we can safely manage your favourite bone and toy..."

Madame Borigard: Reader of the Occult - Derivatives & Credit Default Swaps Explained

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

Creative Juices

The British love of the Vintage Motor Car.

'They're so big, so beautiful, so wild and free.... It seems like a shame to harm them.'

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.

"They were all in undisclosed locations."

'I can smell a rat, sergeant!'

Hunters in a forest.

"How can we tell if this old movie poster is valuable?"

'You do realise we're either going to have to get married, have children or take up a joint hobby.'

"Folks say this ain't sporting, but they don't factor in the alcohol."

'This looks like a good spot.'

'At least with traditional fox hunting, I have a chance! With poisoned baits however...'

Room to Let

'Oh God, trust security to have found the hidden agenda!'

Painting of hand pointing,

CONSPIRACY, INC: 'Right now we're looking for the cryptic message in E.I.E.I. O.'

The Mystery Deepens

'We'd like a book banned in 23 countries, please!'

"You ran a classified ad to sell some of your unwanted items, didn't you?"

"Baldo doesn't miss a chance to tell me what he really wants."

"Naw, they're not like us – they don't feel pain."

"Your ticket was $340, but the flight is extra."

A prince in a garden

'It's raining cats and dogs out there!'