Hibernation Specialist Gifts

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

Welcome Spring.

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'I'll set snooze for an extra month.'

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

"Me, I'm lazy, so I wouldn't seek an endless summer, but an endless winter. I so wish I could migrate to hibernate twice a year..."

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

"Hibernating! C'mon guys, I was only hibernating."

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."

"I'm sorry, sir, but Professor Dornley does not wish to be distracted for the duration of the winter."

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

Center For Sleep Deprivation

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

"I slept funny!"

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'Your snoring kept me awake all through December!'

"It's half past November, young man! Get back in your room and hibernate!"

'He tried to play hide and pounce, and I tried wrestling, but it was our mutual love of naps that made us the best of friends.'

"The big screen really brings out the violence."

Physiotherapist tells Humpty Dumpty: 'OK, you've had a great fall, but we'll have you back on that wall in no time.'

"Did you know that someday astronauts may put themselves into deep hibernation to artificially shorten the grueling journey to their ultimate destination? Wake me up on Christmas morning."

"Hibernation is great son! We sleep through the dreary winters and wake up in the glorious springs!"

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

"It is too early to be hungry. Go to sleep and don't wake me up, at least until march."

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

"I always feel sorry for the kids who have birthdays during hibernation."

"If you hibernated you wouldn't have to worry about losing an hour's sleep to daylight savings."

'Post-Hibernation Blues'

'Never stand when you can sit. Never sit when you can lie down.'