Hero In Training Gifts

"Back off. I got house keys and I'm not afraid to use them."

Boss? Why've you been calling me "Sauron" all day? It's a hero's journey thing. Step 8, to be exact: The Ordeal. In the ordeal, the hero of the story faces a pivotal test of either strength or will. In Lord of the Rings, the ordeal was the face-off with Sauron. But why'd you start calling me that right after I asked for a raise? Denied, foul beast! ... Now, let me check my bank account for Step 9: The Reward.

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

Super Student

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

“I’m robbing the Sheriff of Nottingham’s coach at ten-thirty. Then yoga at noon. Followed by my bassoon lesson. The baguette is for lunch.”

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

Martin Luther King and Obama.

'I'm studying how other geniuses handled creative blocks.'

'I've got a cape. I think I can make it.'

Long-legged clown...

Yeah, that's mine - My mom puts my name inside my helmet in case it comes off.

'It's called a 'hat' -- you tip it to women instead of hitting them over the head with a club.'

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

Dolphin tricks.

A child busking

"Yes, you do go the extra mile for this company. But you've been going in the wrong direction."

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

'Did you read my email about Timmy falling down the well?'

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"There's been a change in plans. Instead of Abilene, we're going to Camelot."

"Papi, I don't think I play the guitar very well."

Gertie's never been the same since she got the cape

"Stephen wants to be a fireman, Emily a doctor, and Matthew plans to take a few years off to find himself."

"There's a big difference between being a method actor and a meth OD'd actor, Burt."

Help - "What's in it for me?"

Pentagon Science Contest: 'I get that a lot...must be from being in the presence of raw genius.'

"It gets a tad crowded in winter when I share the cave with 100s of hibernating snakes."

'... and not just any leader... we want one with real accomplishments.'

"Aren't you afraid you might get too smart?"

"It's not what you think, Mum, I was only orchestrating a stock market crash ..."

"They're to remind me to change your bandages."

"It's Albert's revamped version of the old 'arrow through the head' gag, but it still needs a bit of work."