Hermit Crab Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Are you willing to relocate?"

Desert Island Meals.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Crab with a clown face.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Hermit Crabapple Tree

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"Yes, I'm alone."

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

OM, SWEET OM

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

How Relaxing It Is To Go To The Beach. . . How Close You Live To The Beach.

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

Bearded old man atop mountain.

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

"Free why-fi.”

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

"Do you think solitude drives you insane?"

"Do you see the person who stole your home from you in the courtroom today?"

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

Buy one enlightenment get one free.

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'

"Actually, I just came up here to get away from leading economic indicators."

'He's at the pinnacle, but not at the pinnacle of his PROFESSION.'

'He sidled in, said there's not enough oxygen at his place and that he's staying here until they figure out what's causing the Dead Zone.'