Hermit Aspirant T-Shirts

"So, you're staying in then?"

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

OM, SWEET OM

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

Bearded old man atop mountain.

"Free why-fi.”

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

"The meaning of life! Have you tried Googling it?"

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Buy one enlightenment get one free.

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

'Because Elvis is FULL of philosophical insights.'

'It's a good thing everything is illusory - My keister hurts like crazy!'

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

'Hey! - Do I have to separate you two?'

"Master, I'm looking for enlightenment!"

"Actually, I just came up here to get away from leading economic indicators."

'One of us will tell you how to achieve peace and harmony just as soon as we settle who called dibs on this ledge.'

'Enlightenment does that to some people.'

"The meaning of life? To be honest, I haven't given it much thought."

'He's at the pinnacle, but not at the pinnacle of his PROFESSION.'