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How coats of arms got started

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"You're fired."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"I think he was a celebrity."

Southwark Fair.

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

The International and May Day Terrorism

Knight feeding his kids.

Cut!

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

Paul Ree

Joust Sharpener

"All my symptoms are old ... "

That's What Happens

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."