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How coats of arms got started

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"You're fired."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"I think he was a celebrity."

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

"We're following Carrot Top."

Southwark Fair.

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

The International and May Day Terrorism

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Knight feeding his kids.

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

Trump secret police

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

Joust Sharpener

"All my symptoms are old ... "