Hen House Humorist T-Shirts

'I'm struggling to do my timesheet: Do you remember if I laid an egg on Tuesday?'

'Careful, it's not politically correct to say I rule the roost anymore...'

"I want them to lay boiled eggs."

Wilson's Egg Farm: No Poaching

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"I'm working from home today."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

Mouse real estate!

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

Carpet Cows

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

Mistress Talking to Maid

'My wife used too much fabric softener.'

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'