Hell Humorist Prints

"Keep that dang door shut. I'm not paying to heat the whole neighborhood."

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

'You are here. What does that tell you?'

'I expected Hell to be a lot worse than this.' 'Didn't anyone tell you we're out of milk!!'

'Oh good! I hate long lines.'

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

"Some Debussy, Igor."

Fancy a pint?

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

Meowlzebub

"From this you make a living?"

Cat Frankenstein

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

...your sales are rather anemic

The Zombie Awakes...

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

Hellbillies.

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

Pitching problems.

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'Botox so soon, Master?'