Helicopter Parenting Expert Gifts

'What did she think was going to happen??'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

'The stuka brought you.'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

A boy and his spin patrol.

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"Listen, I'm still your mother."

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

The Mother Of Damocles

'If you fuss over him all the time and make his life too comfortable, he'll never leave!'

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

"Remember - kindergarten is an excellent opportunity to make connections for first grade."

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

'No need to make a judgement, King Solomon, we can run a DNA test.'

'No we are not there yet, we're just leaving our drive!'

"GP or chemist? To be on the safe side let's go to A and E."

'Is it all right if I have a snack out of the refrigerator?'

"My mom won't let me eat snowflakes unless they're certified organic."

Kids, kids. Did you forget it was Mother's Day again?

Heimlich's Mother's Maneuvers

"What changed? I once said a bad word when I was real little, and everyone laughed!"

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

"Please remind your mom and dad that its not a parent-teacher-attorney conference."

Designer Baby.

"Yes, I'm wearing a cowbell. It's just until my mom figures out a way to track me on my phone."