Helicopter Parenting Expert Gifts

'What did she think was going to happen??'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

'The stuka brought you.'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

A boy and his spin patrol.

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"I don't think my parents have a lot of confidence in me."

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

'If you fuss over him all the time and make his life too comfortable, he'll never leave!'

The Mother Of Damocles

"Listen, I'm still your mother."

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

"Remember - kindergarten is an excellent opportunity to make connections for first grade."

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

'No we are not there yet, we're just leaving our drive!'

"My mom won't let me eat snowflakes unless they're certified organic."

'No need to make a judgement, King Solomon, we can run a DNA test.'

'Is it all right if I have a snack out of the refrigerator?'

"GP or chemist? To be on the safe side let's go to A and E."

Designer Baby.

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

"Don't use that howl language with me!"

"What changed? I once said a bad word when I was real little, and everyone laughed!"

"Please remind your mom and dad that its not a parent-teacher-attorney conference."

'But darling, instinct only gets you so far in life: You need to go to school as well...'