Heights Avoider Pillows

Man to man: 'I turned down a raise because I'm afraid of heights.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

Welcome to Everest! No Loitering.

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

"We need to walk."

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

The Candy Shop. Anytime I eat candy it immediately goes to my mid-section. No time to waist!

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

Giraffe looking out of a lighthouse.

Man on Stilts in a Market

'Your back went out because your front went out.'

'How many more times must I tell you to keep this door CLOSED, Hoskins?'

"Sad really. He's scared of heights."

"I'm so confident that when I climb a ladder."

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

The Sedentary Dead.

Son measuring his father against the wall.

I always feel so short when you wear heels.

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

'Man, I hate it when she wears heels.'

"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"

New years resolutions

'His electric toothbrush has gone wrong - mind you, he could use the extra exercise.'

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

"Okay, we've put on our exercise clothes. Now what?"