Heavenly Networker T-Shirts

"Anything's possible if you know the right people."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

Salesman I-Pad Business Card

"I'm Kurt... this brochure will explain the rest."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'I saw it as a networking opportunity.'

Daimler, ChryslerSturm and Drang meeting

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

Corp H.Q. In the corporate world, do you it's what you know or who you know? Neither, it's what you know about who.

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

'Have your people facebook my people.'

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

Developing links within business.

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

Golfing with God.

"Deleted, I'm sure."

"You're the perfect candidate! Unfortunately, we aren't looking for perfect candidates at this time."

'He hasn't taken his eyes off us all evening-he's watching us like a Mo-hawk!'

'There's someone here I'd like you to meet. He's very well-connected.'

Gracebook.

"Manufacturing will take place in China, R&D in Korea, customer support will be run from Mumbai and logistics handled in Vietnam."

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

'Your resume says you are an S.O.B. tell me more about that.'

Politician with lots of address books

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

'Gerald is something in the City-redundant!'

'Fantastic meeting! . . . Just fantastic. Why don't I have my weasels call your weasels.'

"You may be man's 'best friend' but I have over 2,123 likes on facebook!"

"Sorry for the delay. Someone in hell hacked into our computers!"

The Social Media Expert