Heavenly Hotline Fan Prints

'This is God I Missed you in church last Sunday.'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

Heaven

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

Best Seller of All Times...The Holy Bible:'No fair. You're creating your own readers.'

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

"Closed until further notice."

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

"Who did you think has been drawing you all this time?"

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

"'Smoking' or 'Non-Smoking'?"

Football Angel

"Ugh, it rings every time an angel gets his wings - how do I put it in silent mode?"

Why it takes longer for lawyers to get in: 'This would go a lot faster if you'd stop saying, 'alleged'...'

"That's one thing you can't get up here, a good hot curry."

Heaven Has VIP

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'

"They said you can't take it with you. . . and you believed them?"

And on the seventh day He rested

Angel Basketball

"Oh, yes, he's bad. But in a good way."

"Not too short, or people won't know I'm God."

"That's the first time I've heard 'My Way' played on a harp."

Emptying the Bin

"Dress code?"