Heavenly Gatekeeper T-Shirts

"You had the most toys but you didn't win."

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"All we have left is standing room only."

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

Gates of heaven

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"Hey, there's a spare key hidden under this cloud!"

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

Saint Peter reviews a man's sins.

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

'Location, location, location.'

"Actually, I'm just the night manager here."

"Go on in. You're the first onslaught."

'I assume you have paper work to back up all these time travel business expenses.'

'I can't believe I locked my keys inside, again!'

"I don't care if you are the invisible man, sir, I can't let you in if you're not wearing a tie!"

Julia Childs combats a growing rabbit population

"Hold on—I forgot to stamp your hand."

Folsom Prison - A Gated Community

"I know it looks a little rough but we're having all the puffy stuff reupholstered this week."

BEWARE OF THE GOD.

'No way you're getting in here with THAT mustache!'

"There's a man here who wants to add insult to injury."

Beware Of The Hog...

"Yeah, Saint Peter here. I locked myself out again."

'It's a cease and desist order. States that we can't keep anyone out. It's based on the ruling: The more the merrier.'

"A lot of them I only pretend to watch over."

Don't worry, you're fine - I'm just having with a latch. A-1 Gate Repair.

"It's a no-go area."