Heart-on-sleeve Wearer Gifts

"We can do something for your cholesterol. . . but not much for 'a heart torn asunder by the torment of unrequited love'."

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

My Violinist Valentine

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

A day at the races

'She'd put 'The fear of God' into God himself!'

"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."

A queen in a star print gown

'Hey! You forgot the TV!'

"Tia Carmen, if Gregorio asked you to marry him, go for it! I mean, you've done so much for us. Maybe it's time to do something for you!"

"When I'm with you, Miss Lawson, the billable hours just fly by."

"If you can't stand the jaguar, get out of the kitchen."

"Jack is becoming tough, adventurous, and independent. I put it down to my throwing him out with the bathwater."

EGGS laid in America

'Boys, you'll have to leave your guns with me during happy hour.'

'My husband is just being modest. Buck is the finest mason in the tri-county area!'

'Hey Harry? Remember all those things you're going to do when hell freezes over?'

'We keep the Holy Cow in the barn and the Holy Mackerel in the lake... I guess I don't have to tell you what we keep in there!'

Love is a many splinted thing....

"I dunno, maybe he's a hopeless romantic..."

"Maybe this how Casual Friday is done in Moose Jaw, but not the Big Apple."

'The affirmation of one's own life, happiness, growth, freedom, is rooted in one's capacity to love.'

"Great news! I found the lost credit card this morning!"

"On your left, you'll see the apartment where my ex-wife tore my heart out, stepped on it, and flushed it down the toilet. Also a deli."

Man leading a procession of followers around a moutainous region waving a heart

I love Tennis

'Is that all you can say - if the cap fits wear it?'