Healthy Trendsetter T-Shirts

'You have to go where the market takes you.'

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

Too Skinny, Too Fat

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

"That's a good look for you, J.B."

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

New Shades 2020

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

Paleo-to-go

"Which celebrities do this type of yoga?"

A woman stops at a building directory sign for Centers for Diseases.

Eventually I'd like to major in cosmetic surgery.

Woman who has run out of make-up

The Decafé

"I'm looking for a memorable flavor experience at a forgettable price."

'Do the flu masks come in other colors?'

'I think your overdoing the pineapple juicing!'

"For my second breast augmentation I added a WiFi hotspot."

"Dragons were never out of style."

Firewood for Sale

"Actually, kale is toxic."

'Nothing says congrats on a healthy new diet than an arrangement of broccoli, fruit and cauliflower!'

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."