Healthcare Technology Admirer T-Shirts

"The computers are down, so I can't 'search' your symptoms at the moment."

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

Get well soon!

Healthy Patients Only

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"You call all this a side effect?"

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

John Bull presenting the building for the 1862 International Exhibition to Britannia

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

Beavers worshipping a chainsaw.

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

"The good news is, with gene therapy, it's now possible to grow back legs."

Drug vending machines at hospital.

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

'Doc, my stiches are coming out,'

"I'll bet he takes other dangerous drugs too! See if we can catch him with an aspirin!"

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

'Looks like a perfectly healthy limb to me.'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

Future Medicare Prescription Drug Plans: 'When I grow up, help me enjoy my retirement years. But if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.'