Healthcare Professional Joke Lover Pillows

"And there's a surcharge if you insist on annoying the doctor with any self-diagnosis you found on google."

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Happy Birthday to you.

"I stand corrected."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'Time for your pills.'

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

Hypochondria Hospital

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

'You need some stress.'

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

Healthy Eating Casualties

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

Fish swimming around inside drip.

Flu Drugs.

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

"Definitely work-related."

"It's a very rare disease - it doesn't have a cure. It doesn't even have a spokesperson."

'If a hacker steals all my information from my health records do they keep my health problems too?'

Calm down...this is for your own good.