Healthcare Professional Chuckler Pillows

'I'm afraid your body is rejecting the transplant...'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Happy Birthday to you.

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

"Definitely work-related."

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'Who gets the penile implant, him or me?'

Transplant delivery

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

"Unfortnuately, we won't know what's wrong with you until we do an autopsy."

'Well, good morning Mr. Daniel, have a seat in our waiting room.'

'You have the new disease that terrifies the medical community... It's cure is easy and cheap.'

'So that's 60 minutes, room 4 with Sally, and will you be taking our standard resuscitation insurance?'

"And there's a surcharge if you insist on annoying the doctor with any self-diagnosis you found on google."

"If I need to stop smoking and lose weight...what are you going to do about it?"

Reflex testing

"If she still feels pain with the regular placebo, we try again withe extra-strength placebo!"

"It's my opinion that you suffer from a hyperactive disorder. And when you're done writing that down, I'd like my chart back."

'You've got yellow fever, so we're painting the room to match your body.'

Flu season

"The resilience of the human spirit can be truly inspiring."

"See what I mean, Doc? My pacemaker needs adjustment. Every time I sneeze, it sets off the sprinkler system."

Man sees dollar sign on belly: 'Nice stitches, Doc.'

"You've been playing with the controls, haven't you. . .?"