Healthcare Insider Chuckles Gifts

Day two at the ...Brain Transplant Institute

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Providing Healthcare For All

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

NHS/Private Eye Care.

"Of course I believe in unions - Where do you think we doctors would be without the A.M.A.?"

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

If the NHS designed cars...They'd probably be the worst cars in the world.

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

"I suppose it was bound to come to this."

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

'If you could roll up your sleeves, go behind the screen and plaster the wall.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."

Medical Center.