Healthcare Budgeter Gifts

High cost of health care.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

Investing your savings

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"What comes after zillion?"

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

'I wonder how the economy is doing.'

Blowing dust off an order book.

Keep the econoimy moving

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

City Finance Dept: My Way/The Highway

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."

'Good news, Mr. Blume! Your condition isn't serious - just expensive.'

"No, unfortunately I won't be raising your debt ceiling."

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"Your test results are back. We're going to have to remove your appendix and your wallet."

"His department suffered the death of a thousand cuts."

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

Homeless count.

'He's put in a tender to run down public services.'

'This is just a thought, but maybe we could try animated anchormen.'