Health Trend Humor Gifts

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

'Good lord, Mrs. Frost, how long has he been running a fever?!'

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Baldness Facts

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

"Wuhan virus, Ebola, West Nile, Asian Flu. . . what's wrong with good old American diseases?"

'It's a clear case of dehydration.'

'I'll take #1.'

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

'The only thing wrong with you is that you're holding up my golf game.'

"C'mon, walk it off!"

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

'They worry about their cholesterol, but they don't give a damn about ours!'

"Does this antibiotic go better with a white wine, or red?"

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

"I'm afraid a hearing aid will make me look old."

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

'The bad news is you've got something no one's ever heard of...the good news is we're naming it after you!'

CITY CLINIC: 'I want to see whichever doctor is the fattest.'

You've probably heard of "White Coat Syndrome," the phenomenon in which patients exhibit a high blood pressure level in a clinical setting, even though they don't in other settings. Well, you won't get away with that here.

Computer: 'You-are-spending-too-much-time-interfacing-with-food'

Clown with balloons to diabetic: 'Hey, could you take your shot over there?'

With exercise equipment, it goes on layaway after I buy it.

"I like the idea of getting rid of our junk food, but instead of throwing the fridge out, you could've just thrown the food out."

'I asked my doc for a diet plan and it works great - thanks to his usurious bills, I can't afford a car or taxis and that's why I'm losing weight by walking!'

"It wasn't really insulin. You don't have diabetes yet. It was just a warning shot."

Egyptians stuck in position line up to see the chiropractor.

"Has anyone in your family ever had a history of exercise?"

'...is really all the exercise I need to lose weight.'

"Oh yes! Clearly another case of malnutrition."

'Which of the high cholesterol foods are the safest?'