Health Trend Humor Gifts

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

'Good lord, Mrs. Frost, how long has he been running a fever?!'

Baldness Facts

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Wuhan virus, Ebola, West Nile, Asian Flu. . . what's wrong with good old American diseases?"

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'I'll take #1.'

'It's a clear case of dehydration.'

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

'The only thing wrong with you is that you're holding up my golf game.'

"C'mon, walk it off!"

"Does this antibiotic go better with a white wine, or red?"

'They worry about their cholesterol, but they don't give a damn about ours!'

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

"I'm afraid a hearing aid will make me look old."

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

CITY CLINIC: 'I want to see whichever doctor is the fattest.'

Computer: 'You-are-spending-too-much-time-interfacing-with-food'

Clown with balloons to diabetic: 'Hey, could you take your shot over there?'

"I like the idea of getting rid of our junk food, but instead of throwing the fridge out, you could've just thrown the food out."

'I asked my doc for a diet plan and it works great - thanks to his usurious bills, I can't afford a car or taxis and that's why I'm losing weight by walking!'

"It wasn't really insulin. You don't have diabetes yet. It was just a warning shot."

Egyptians stuck in position line up to see the chiropractor.

"Has anyone in your family ever had a history of exercise?"

"Oh yes! Clearly another case of malnutrition."

'...is really all the exercise I need to lose weight.'

'Who would like a little judo chop while you're waiting?'

'Which of the high cholesterol foods are the safest?'