Health Retreats Mugs

"Ed is back from his silent cocoon retreat."

" '£250 for a week at a health centre', the brochure said, 'lose weight and give up smoking', it said, 'guaranteed results' it said...'

"Looks like the wives are back from their health farm week."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

Scurile travels

"I'm going on a retreat."

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

Monk on the beach

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

"At last - no Trump."

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

Priest

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

"I wish there was a way to get out of the city this summer without leaving Manhattan."

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

Self Storage Unit

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

Business acquaintances on holiday

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

Go away

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

"For quality control purposes, this phone call may be recorded and replayed for laughs at various office parties throughout our company."

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

"I bought a new summer condo."

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

"That's why I come here for the weekends - 127 acres."