Health Resolution Time Pillows

"Let's have a detox binge!!"

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"It's all a matter of planning...."

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Zoo. Diet Clinic. Hey everybody --- There's no longer an 800-pound gorilla in the room!

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

Wild Animal Park. How are the animals doing with their new year's resolutions? Good! The gazelle is trying to slow down and enjoy life, and the sloth is exercising more! What's the goat's resolution? To be more careful about what he eats? No, he just wants to spend more time with the kids this year. I heard the doe made a resolution to save some money. You misunderstood, Ernie. She didn't make any resolutions for herself. Her goal this year is to convince the male members of her specie

D I E T F We said we'd stick together this time, but we really knew it would only last a day or two.

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"THIS YEAR I'M GOING TO GET IN SHAPE."

"This year I'm going to lose weight!"

"I'm starting my diet today."

My New Year's resolution? To come up with some resolutions for the year after next.

"Planning a few changed for the new year?"

"If I were you, I'd put a new hairstyle way way down your list of New Year's Resolutions."

Congratulations for giving up smoking

'To show I'm serious about giving up smoking for new year, I'm going to sign this pledge.'

'I know I promised to get off my backside and take up a sort once the Olympics had finished - but it ain't over yet!'

'Letting you pick up the check will help you stay on your diet.'

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

'Every year, I make a New Year's resolution, but I never stick to it, and it's embarrassing when people ask me about it...this year I'm just going to lie through my teeth when people ask.'