Health Resolution Time Pillows

"Let's have a detox binge!!"

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"This year I'm going to lose weight!"

"THIS YEAR I'M GOING TO GET IN SHAPE."

"I'm starting my diet today."

My New Year's resolution? To come up with some resolutions for the year after next.

"If I were you, I'd put a new hairstyle way way down your list of New Year's Resolutions."

"Planning a few changed for the new year?"

'Letting you pick up the check will help you stay on your diet.'

'I know I promised to get off my backside and take up a sort once the Olympics had finished - but it ain't over yet!'

'Every year, I make a New Year's resolution, but I never stick to it, and it's embarrassing when people ask me about it...this year I'm just going to lie through my teeth when people ask.'

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

'To show I'm serious about giving up smoking for new year, I'm going to sign this pledge.'

Congratulations for giving up smoking

I made a resolution to have a more positive attitude, but god knows how long that's gonna last...