Health Reform Enthusiast Gifts

Focussing on what's REALLY important

'You're doing fine Mr. Marney. We'll have you and worrying about the survival of medicare before you know it.'

'It doesn't look good. He's still not responsive even when I show him the bill.'

'The tea was 60p, but under the hospitals new PFI arrangement it's now £56 a month until 2056...'

DOH should create a simple prevalence formula that works.

"Important thing is I have insurance and that's that!"

GOP House: 'We pledge to continue our efforts to eliminate Obamacare. . .'

'I'm sorry, Mister Paul - the only way we could help you is if we had you covered by Obamacare!'

'Let them eat cake.'

'I can assure you that the funding crisis in the NHS has been much exaggerated.'

Polyclinics: 'Not to worry, by the most remarkable of coincidences there's a new polyclinic opened just 12 miles away.'

'There's no guidance on pregnancies and swine flu...but I've 138 pages on revised waiting room management strategies..'

'Of course you do realise your health would be a LOT better if you weren't such a fat bastard!'

"You wouldn't happen to have this in a larger size would you...?"

GPs Encouraged To Use Text Messaging To Help Patients Stop Smoking.

Privatisation of the NHS

'The target most GPs are looking for is one that gets rid of QOF targets.'

'Mr Lansley went private to have his head on the pole.'

'A watered down public healthcare option would allow any American to migrate to Canada for socialized medicine.'

'A brain scan clearly shows his pre-existing condition!'

Virtual Doctor

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

This is not the time to be restructuring the NHS in the middle of a pandemic Mr. Hancock!

Doctors Discussion

"Let's use the dog's prescription. His refills are cheaper."

So that's it? I've tweeted a risque photo of my bicep. What happens next? We wait for the outpouring. I'm ready. Bring on the outrage. C'mon media! Let's hear your disgust that some old man would brazenly send such a lascivious photo. Then, with the world looking at me, I'll astound them with my idea of a universal health care system! Wait. Wait. Not yet. it's time for my first nap of the day. Can we do this later? What? Zzzzz. Best way for this to end.

"Doc, my arm is killing me, but I don't know how I can afford care. My deductible is through the roof and I just got laid off my job."

'Make a patriotic decision. Do you want your son to live in a public health insurance tyranny or do you want to let him die as a free American who doesn't have the money to pay for medical treatment?'

Mental Health System Breakdown

Jesus Christ, Health Insurance CEO

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

Health Care Crisis table.

Looking for the cause of high health care costs. . .

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'