Health Potion Enthusiast Pillows

You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that? Many times. How would you like to be the "after" image in my new ad touting the health benefits of our new nonfat kale macchiato. Let me guess: You'd also like an old picture of me where I was weak and puny, so you can claim that's the "before" picture. Don't worry, I've got that part covered. Something about you looked different today, Rudy. Would you like fries with that observation?

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

Newt sale

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

'It's been murder since it was announced that eyes of newt might be a cancer cure.'

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

Love Potion

"Abra-Viagra."

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

'What's your poison?'

'What do you mean the FDA is going to start regulating the use of eyes of Newts?'

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

'...tail of cat..tongue of toad and a good pinch of monosodium glutamate...'

'So what if she only brew a few cases a year. We can still do business.'

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

Drink Me.

'I had a little cosmetic surgery done this week.'

"It's the witching hour somewhere."

"Do you like eye of newt in your Mac 'n' Cheese?"

Natural Medicines

"Since I've been using this organic stuff my potions are far more effective."

"I swear, you won't be able to tell the difference, plus, turkey eye of newt is much healthier for you."

'Nine out of ten witch doctors stranded on an island prefer eyes of newt over bat wings for a headache.'

'The good news is Prof. Trockenficker has found the secret of eternal youth. The bad news is it will make everybody look exactly like him.'

Rum Mage Sale Today

"You should have called your stall 'Thyme Is A Healer'."

"What's this Artificial newt's tail? Instant toad urine? No wonder your spells suck!"

Magic Potion Micro-Brewers

Wow. That WAS a lot faster.

"Oh, knock it off! It's only cream of asparagus."

"But hey - no added preservatives!"