Health Plan Aficionado T-Shirts

'...and with our DeLuxe Plan, you actually get the unlisted number of your doctor's answering service!'

Be Healthy

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'Fitness guru.'

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

"Your arm is broken - so it should fit in well here."

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

The NHS begins using outside contractors for routine operations.

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

"In my workout this morning I hit a new personal best, but on a seasonally adjusted basis, my numbers actually fell."

Meds Toast

A tessellation of running figures.

"You've got a bad case of Docwantsa Newkar."

"He's a whiz kid."

Medicare: More is Better!

'Don't worry! If your self diagnosis turns out to be correct this time, this will take care of it.'

'Of course cutting back on this level of bureaucracy will require a lot of work...'

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

"You have what we are going to call Klitson's Disease, Mr. Klitson."

Good News, Bad News - Save the Leg.

Drive Thru Flu Clinic

Fearing insurance rate increases if he had another accident claim, Dave tries a new harness system.

"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'