Health Minister Pillows

"I'm afraid minister that the consensus is that we might need even more than the novelty T-shirts and complementary key rings to sort the GP recruitment crisis."

'Not every day you get a health minister in the surgery...might as well enjoy it!'

'Crisis? What crisis?' asks DoH Minster.

Childhood Obesity.

'... and as the Minister in charge I can assure the public there is no shortage of NHS dentists.'

Cuba defeats cholera epidemic.

"Care home deaths are collateral damage, as we continue to smoke screen statistics and fire off as many war analogy's as we can muster: in our battle, war, and heroic bun fight against Corvid-19 - in this, our not so finest hour!"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

vaccine wars.

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

What the Doctor Ordered

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

Lactose Intolerant

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

The Three Wise Queens