Health Market Follower Gifts

'And in today's health market - coffee is up, fats are mixed, and sugar continues its downward slide.'

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I'm taking you off that banana diet, Mrs Smith!'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"We've gone glutton-free."

Illuminating agricultural production

"I'm leaning towards the health benefits of becoming a vegetarian."

"How passe, darling, everyone I know is re-toxing these days!"

Health Foods

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

A gastric band is meant to go on the inside!

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

"Your mother eats all the wrong foods."

The Decafé

'I've discovered a new diet. I can eat as much as I like but I'm not to swallow.'

"I'm taking out two acres of pecan trees and putting in a fifteen-thousand-square-foot colonic-irrigation facility."

I see the Covid moon a-rising

'Well here's the problem. #AB5 is a Nuclear Missile. # AB6 is a box of surgical gloves.'

"Now I'll pass on to Daphne and the latest conspiracy theories!"

"Reimbursements are still shrinking - billing sent us the latest payment to read."

2022

' Sorry about that- my doctor put me on a cabbage, egg and beer diet and the side effects just sort of sneak up on me...'

'And this is our research staff: Brad covers autos, Cathie covers Big Pharma, and Keith knows heavy metals.'

'I can't figure out why I'm not losing weight. All I eat is salad.'

Pharmacy: We no longer have cigarettes, but we do sell medical marijuana.

"It's me, '9' from yoga class."

'I want to take you home and throw out everything in your kitchen.'

"In health news, everything you thought was good for you is now bad for you."

'It's probably just another one of those 'fad diets'.'